But really really brand new. I got them in the mail just now and I have my contacts in as well. Everything is super fuzzy.
Imagine Teddy getting a howler from Tonks and he starts to freak out but when he opens it, it’s like
TEDDY GUESS WHAT, THE WEIRD SISTERS ARE COMING TO TOWN. PACK YOUR THINGS, SON, I ALREADY TALKED TO MCGONAGALL AND SHE SAID IT’S COOL. MERLIN’S PANTS I’M SO EXCITED. DON’T TELL ANYONE OKAY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T TELL DAD EITHER. OH FUCK, IS THIS A HOWLER? I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP.
And Remus at the teachers table covering his face to hide his laughter.
It’s really cold in here. I’m going to turn it up to 74, but then it’s gonna get butt-fuckin’ hot.
—Vicky on the temperature in our apartment
For some reason I just thought about that Bob’s Burgers episode where the magician writes Bob a note that ends in “PS I farted on the meat!” and dissolved into laughter so powerful that my roommate got out of bed and came to check on me because she thought I was going to suffocate myself from laughing so hard.
[VERY SMALL VOICE] blebpt
Fun fact: this is what baby seals sound like
(he starts making noise about 30 seconds in)
[VERY SMALL VOICE] awughlhlhlMy dogs heard this and got concerned.
It’s so cute oh god I can’t
The first step is denial.